“He likes alcohol AND he messaged me first! What more could I want in a guy?”
I adore her, she’s sassy and I love her music and she gives absolutely zero fucks. You do you girl! Plus she’s beautiful. like wayyy gorgeous. Plus she’s bipolar, just like me. There’s nothing NOT to love about her!
If you’ve never listened to her, drop what you’re doing and do it now! Unless you’re already on your phone. In which case just switch tabs.
Last night I introduced my beautiful, recently single, hilarious friend to Tinder (and of course the tinder drinking game). It was a RIOT!
We immediately crafted her bio to “theater, cynicism, and dicks out for harambe”
She got her first match, screamed, and threw her phone…
Some other beautiful quotes from the night:
“I just can’t drive all the way to Portland to get laid. I mean unless he pays me. Oh wait, that’s prostitution…”
*clarae sends her first message* “don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I love you…. Your profile is pure gold!”
…And many more. I definitely need more girls’ nights in my life!
As you all know, Claire and I LOVE Trainwreck. This is a conversation between her and i today…
“I’m pretty sure best-sex-you’ve-ever-had guy is in prison… or maybe just a republican with a stick up his ass”
“Hey, he didn’t ACTUALLY go to prison!”
Amy Schumer gets it, tbh.
You can basically call me Elphaba, because I’m melting over here! It’s been 108 degrees and 105 degrees the last few days, and it shows no sign of cooling off any day soon!
For an Oregonian without air conditioning, this is NOT a pleasant week. Fall, where are you??
One of Claire’s old one-night-stands keeps adding me on Facebook. I’ve deleted the request three times, but he KEEPS SENDING IT!
Like… Can you not?
So I was reading Pinterest last night, and I saw a headcanon about a muggle born asking for the wifi password and Dumbledore giving it to him. I got really worked up and angry about it because EVERYONE KNOWS TECHNOLOGY DOESNT work around Hogwarts (duh)… But then it sort of just hit me that it’s a moot point because Hogwarts doesn’t physically actually exist. Aaaaand now I want to cry.
Magic never dies? ✨⚡️