Passing the Legacy

Last night I introduced my beautiful, recently single, hilarious friend to Tinder (and of course the tinder drinking game). It was a RIOT! 
We immediately crafted her bio to “theater, cynicism, and dicks out for harambe” 
She got her first match, screamed, and threw her phone… 

Some other beautiful quotes from the night: 

“I just can’t drive all the way to Portland to get laid. I mean unless he pays me. Oh wait, that’s prostitution…” 

*clarae sends her first message* “don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I love you…. Your profile is pure gold!” 
…And many more. I definitely need more girls’ nights in my life! 

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Wicked Witch of the West

You can basically call me Elphaba, because I’m melting over here! It’s been 108 degrees and 105 degrees the last few days, and it shows no sign of cooling off any day soon! 
For an Oregonian without air conditioning, this is NOT a pleasant week. Fall, where are you?? 

So it Begins

The police are outside my apartment building for the second time today… 

The first time they were talking to my neighbors and all we heard was “restraining order.” 

The second time the officer was searching around with a flashlight with her in the parking garage lighting up a cigarette saying “I just didn’t know what to do!!” 
*sighs* welcome to the neighborhood…